Laughter

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.  ~Kurt Vonnegut

    
     I'm at a very weird point in my life. Evidently, anyone reading my other posts should know I've crossed over to adulthood and that comes with it. I'm sure throughout history people have had similar transitions, but something about the odd mixture of circumstances of my life and the lives of my loved ones, has left us all in a very confused and transitional period. 

     Tonight I laughed harder than I've laughed in years, maybe even harder than I'd ever laughed. Today, my dear friends and I were all thrown back into our lives from a snow filled and lackadaisical dream. We went back to our lives, which are very blessed; however, also very unstable and transitional. Today at work was normal (or as normal as my days get). I didn't take a lunch break and I actually didn't procrastinate. I accomplished much, but I left work knowing that catching up from the days off and incompetence of 2010 is going to be difficult. I came home a bit defeated and very loopy ( I had gotten up at 6 to go to the gym). I got home to a night of grocery shopping, kabob making, and childish/inappropriate laughter. The kind of laughter that makes your eyes water and causes you to ignore the ridiculous sounds that you are creating from a place so often neglected. 

    I've always wanted to grow up and tried to act more grown up than I should, but never realized what it really means. Growing up doesn't mean freedom and independence. It is just an exchange of freedoms. You give up following the rule of parents or institutions to follow the rules of money and personal responsibility. I have always tried to follow all four at once and had found myself utterly exhausted.

     I'm realizing the people who I know that are truly happy as adults and children are those who are free. Many people confuse freedom and try to "stick it to the man" or defy convention, but these aren't the answers. Granted sometimes it works; however, often times these are the people left most susceptible to the corruption of the poorly constructed social constructs of our society. To truly be free is to realize what is really important. Sometimes, in order to remain true to our most important convictions, we must compromise certain freedoms in order to live freely in the things that are really important to us. "Maturity" is overrated, but responsibility and kindness are not. To mature means to become ripe, but in my opinion I'd rather reach my highest and most fruitful point close to the later part of my life. An unripened fruit is beautiful and watching it grow is mysterious, but the rotten fruit turns brown and begins to smell. I'd much rather try to avoid the whole smelling part ;).

     So I'm working on figuring out what this all means and making sure to laugh along the way. Thanks to people who make me feel entirely comfortable in my own skin, who I can feel no shame getting to the point of "ugly laughing" with. We must learn to reach this comfort more often. If you ever need a good laugh or cry, or both, I believe they are both great catharsis and I'm hear to share and assist in any way.

This post is dedicated to Devin, Shelden, Jill, Erin, and Caroline. In the spirit of high school immaturity... they are my bbfls...:). Thanks for making me laugh more than I have in so long.