The Lowest Class

"Be nice to everyone you meet. They are fighting battles you know nothing about."

Tonight I was reminded why I often loose hope in the philosophy that all people are good. I was enticed to leave the house and a little happy to get a little of my cabin fever out. I was tired and a little grumpy. My friend ran into one of her friends while we were out and the friend was with a group of older men. These older men flocked to me because I have this theory about vulnerability*. I've been more vulnerable in the last two years of my life then ever before, and I've attracted my share of people who whether intentionally or unintentionally prey on this vulnerability. Lately, I've been working on strength, but tonight my guard was down and I was feeling pretty vulnerable.

I was at a bar and choosing not to drink because I had to work in the morning and am trying to take better care of my body in many ways. It was one of the older gentleman's birthday and he was paying particular attention to me. He made a point to compliment me, try and touch me, and several attempts to buy me drinks. I continued to politely decline. I explained I needed to be alert because I had to work the next day and my job means a lot to me. He countered that he also had to work and his job is important. I asked what he did and he went on about how he makes furniture. Then he asked me why my job was so important and I told him I was a social worker. He replied "You don't need to be alert, you deal with the lowest class." The fire that 5 years ago would have sent me into an angry tangent reared it's head. However, I've learned to pick my battles and choose my words wisely. I simply replied that it isn't that simple and I usually work with children (yes I pulled the children card, I was tired and feeling a little defeated). He said "oh of course they aren't the lowest class and then tried to say I probably work with some "s*&%^y" parents though." Thinking of my clients, I realized that I would never describe them as he did. As much as I sometimes feel hopeless and defeated after talking to certain clients, I usually see them not as lower, but as defeated and hopeless themselves. 

Thankfully, I didn't have to stay much longer at the bar and I tried to ignore this gentleman the rest of the night. I was left with angst in my heart against him and his "type". People like him, who I consider the lowest class because of their inability to see the good in a person and their seeming ability to prey on the weak. Then, however, I felt the pangs of being wrong. I've felt these pangs quite often lately as I'm learning things are never as simple as they appear or I would like them to be. Maybe in judging this man, I had become the lower class. I do not know where his ideas sprung from or what he has experienced. Just because he made me feel uncomfortable and felt he could try and hit on a woman half his age does not make him a bad person. If I'm going to make it, I'm going to have to see the good in everyone, especially the ones I feel personally victimized by. This is a arduous task, and one I started a few years ago and have made little progress in. This continues to be my greatest source of weakness with my biggest potential for growth. 

I encourage us all to take the people in our lives who have caused us the most pain and to see them as we would see a starving child or a wounded soldier. Their struggles, however, may be less socially acceptable to help and more deeply hidden in the complexities of living in this world. Learning to love our own weaknesses and discovering our struggles is the first step in this process. Love and support are some of the ways to get through this difficult task.  

* This theory has been based on my instincts and social observation. I'm realizing that both are usually pretty accurate. However, no empirical research has been done at this time to prove this theory or delve deeper into it's complexities :).