Fear

 On some positions,
Cowardice asks the question
"Is it safe?"
Expediency asks the question
"Is it politic?"
 And Vanity comes along and asks the question
"Is it popular?"
But Conscience asks the question
"Is it right?"
And there comes a time
when one must take a position
that is neither safe,
nor politic, nor popular,
but he must do it because
Conscience tells him it is right.
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

I just finished a book called "Why good people do bad things." Humorously enough, I found this book on the very classy "text from last night" website and used it as a joke with a friend. I was in borders and couldn't resist buying the book when I saw it. After buying it I perused through it and realized that it actually seemed worthy of reading and was based on my favorite psychologists. Ironically, even though I am in the field of Social Work, I don't usually like too much psychology theory. This probably should have convinced me to change my major, but that is what living is all about- finding your way by taking road blocks. I decided that the book was worth reading and since I'm trying to read more lately anyways, I dug right in. After finishing the book, I was left very self aware and a little awed. 

It almost made me believe in fate. Could some higher power have possibly led me down the humorous and random path to finding this book, just so that I can be enlightened?? :) Who knows??? In short, the book discusses "shadow complexes" that we all play out in our lives. It was a very intellectual book and I had to remain very dedicated to actually finish it, but the truth that lies between it's pages is artful, humble, and so painfully human. 

Recently, as my earlier posts indicated, I've become very disheartened by the world and my own actions. I began to see little good in the world (for a social worker, this can be suicide). I realize now that part of the reason is that I was discovering and growing myself, and self discovery is never easy. As we grow, we have more time to see and experience faults, failures, and unfulfilled dreams. We have the front row tickets to our own negative growing pains, and so we either choose to detrimentally focus on them or fatally project our feelings onto others to make us feel better. After reading this book, it was refreshing to see that I am not alone in realizing this pattern and growing uneasy as I learn to know myself better. The book is all about how we bear burdens that navigate our lives and cripple us. This is called the "shadow". I'm not one for psychobabble, self- help books, or looking at things from black and white, but the pages of this book do not contain any of this. The pages draw from great minds in all fields (including religion, literature, psychology..) and simply acknoledges the importance of self reflection and understanding where ur fears come from so that we can conquer them and reach self-actualization. 

I will not get any deeper into this complex idea, as my eyes get sleepy and I'm sure I've reached that point my dad always reaches in his intellectual speach (the point where my readers are baffled). I only wish to say that fear is here for a reason, but that it is easy to allow fear in many forms to take over our lives. We must realize where logical fear falls away to the fears that hold us back from dreaming, loving, and getting through the hard patches where hope may be scarce (the hope is only scarce because the fear has become overwhelming.) Free your self from your shadow and read the book if you have some time and the dedication.