Fragile Hearts

Today I talk in poetry. I don't have enough energy for many complete sentences. They would just be the same. This week is a long week, but it will get better. I've been thinking a lot about why we do what we do and the constant battles for and against social justice and I always have the argument for people to see it from the child's perspective. To see that love can change a child's life. It could be love shown to a child from family who has had kindness shown to them or a stress eliminated so that they can take a moment to show love.  It could be love shown by a helping professional. It could be love shown by a stranger, but the more love, the greater the odds. Today while visiting a grandmother and her grandchildren, I was told by a little three year old angel that she loved me this much as she stretched out her tiny arms. I'm in tears right now at how that one moment wiped away so much (I mean A LOT) or the stress from the last two 10 hour work days. Her grandmother told me that they tell each other that they love eachother at least 3 times per day.

Fragile Hearts

An uncertain smile, an ego never boosted
A brain malleable with so much potential
Potential fed, but also potential slipped away
Away into the insults
Away into the feelings of inadequacy
Away into the hopelessness
The fear
The Anxiety of never feeling good enough
Not deserving of love
Not deserving of anything good
The same system attempting to free me from these feelings only stregnthens them
I hear the talk
I hear I'm not able to go home because of this and that but I feel the abandonment
I feel the struggle of those trying to find a place for me
I see no alternatives, I see no future
I only see the present and what I can do to attempt to mask the pain
The deep seeded pain that I may never get over
Will someone reach me
People ask how I am and if I'm "ok"
How could I be ok, why would I answer you?
I see you seldom, you don't want me either.
I see what may be kindness in your eyes, but I know not what kindness is because It has not perservered in my life
Kindness is a distant memory
A memory of a soft and tender touch patting me to sleep in infancy
A memory of a teachers kind words and unfailing patience
A memory of someone in my past, someone I may not remember
Will I remember them, Is their effort worth the time some may say
The effort may be fruitless, but the love will be there somewhere
It may not always stick or I may be to hard to accept it
But why stop loving because I've become to hard
Why stop trying
Who is to say who is valuable enough for someones love and care
Who is to say who can reach me
Who is to say that maybe the memory or a moment of kindness couldn't be the tipping scale.
I am fragile, but I become stronger with love.